I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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