You just made me feel so damn special
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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