My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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