there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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