Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
