she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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