I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize