why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
