I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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