Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize