What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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