I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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