What did we do last night that was yellow?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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