So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
