carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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