Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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