Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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