Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
my liver is dry heaving
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
