Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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