there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
