Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
