saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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