I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
