i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
