She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
are you so shy because you have an std?
im holly from the hills drunk
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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