I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
