I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
