i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
ttyl tear gas
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize