My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can I color on your dick again?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
