just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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