So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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