does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
