Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
A bitchslap is in order.
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