we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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