There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
