She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
