chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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