It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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