I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
