I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
