You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
