Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
