No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
