my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize