Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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