I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
