fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
