If that was your dad, he is hot
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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