well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
