She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
