Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
