i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
