I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
