dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
