Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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