The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
