Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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