And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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