I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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