I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
