Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently you make a good broom.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
