the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
