1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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