It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize