i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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