69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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